Guest Post: 30 Things to Stop Doing To Yourself

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn't have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

~Written by Marc of Marc and Angel Hack Life

Product Review # 1: Dr. Miracle's 'Feel It' Formula Intensive Spot Serum

This is the first Product Review and I have posted my first vlog for the blog! Woot-Woot! So many firsts. Aaaah! OK. Dr. Miracle's 'Feel It' Intensive Spot Serum is my first culprit of our product review.

(source)

The Good Stuff:

1.) Smells good on hair :)
2.) Controls frizz. Yipee!
3.) Promotes Healthy Hair
4.) Promotes Hair Growth ☺ Great for hair experiencing slow growth.
5.) Makes Hair Grow! [Awooo!]
6.) Has a relaxing Menthol feel :) [Aaaah!]
7.) It's light!

8.) Good for anyone with some trouble with split ends.

Not so Good Stuff:

1.) The recommended use of the product for twice a day weighs down curls.

2.) It can get a little greasy on curls if used frequently, which is what is recommended.

3.) Very Slow [for those who want results fast].

I would recommend this product to anyone with split end problems, slow growth and hair breakage. You an get it in your local cosmetic store. In Nairobi, you can get Dr. Miracle's products at Super Cosmetics branches and Nakumatt supermarkets. You can also buy it online on Amazon.com.

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Check the video out and subscribe to my YouTube channel☺. More videos coming ☺.

Have a lovely time,

Siri Nusu.

Do-4-School #1: The Girly Fro

Today I wore my fro 'girly' [Lack of a better word ◔_◔]. Yesterday I stretched out my hair with minimum heat. I do it once a month. My hairdresser, Eunice did it just right. She first detangled it using her hands with my EVOO, Extra Virgin Olive Oil and water spritz. Yes, I carry some of my products to the Salon. Then applied minimum heat to straighten out the hair. Minimum heat I can only describe as whatever your head is comfortable with. You know those blow-drys which were created too hot to melt everything including your IQ? Not that kind of heat. Comfortable heat which does not damage the hair strands by making them weak and does not encourage hair breakage.

Oh! So I stretched out my hair and liked the length. Nolan's growing alright! That's my hair's name BTW. Do not judge! Ü Today morning as I prepared myself for school I thought,

"Why am I going to school with straight hair? I miss my curls!"

It had only been 9 hours! Now I understand, just a little bit when my sister's friend thinks I'm a hair fanatic. Anyway, I immediately removed my shower cap and wet my hair. Out came some little gorgeous curls. The length has improved thanks to protective styling and was now in the 'Shamba Gal Phase'☺. I loved it!

I then dried it and dressed up. Spritz sprayed, ✔ ! Bow-tie for accessorizing, ✔ ! I was ready to go. Here is what I chilled with the whole of my school day.

I fixed in my blue Ankara hand-made mini bow-tie. I will tell you more about that on my next post. Good news coming your way! ☺

Have a lovely time,

Siri Nusu.

My BC Story: Bringing Confidence Back!

I did my BC [Big Chop] in September 2011. My hair, at the time was the only thing that I thought was not natural on my body. For quite sometime then, I had wanted natural kinky hair. When I visited the salon and saw girls with natural nappy hair, I was getting worried. More, jealous. Worried because I thought I was not embracing my roots, my African beauty. No, this does not mean if you have relaxed hair you do not embrace your African roots [if you have them]. I just have a trait of over-thinking. Jealous because I thought to myself that my then thick long relaxed hair was fake, like a wig [I like wigs by the way. No hate.] That was wrong thinking but I just could not help myself from thinking that.

So the night I decided to chop off my then thick beautiful relaxed hair, so much for modesty, I was shockingly happy. I was experiencing a smoothie of emotions blend by an unknown expectation. It was one long weird night. When I woke up the next morning, I headed to my then hairdresser Pam and told her to chop it all off! You would not imagine the shock on the smooth-skinned round figured lady. I had just bombarded her with news from the future which is even more distant than the future she was looking forward to. The woman was furious! She shook her head over a bijillion times [Yes, bijillion is a word in my vocabulary. Sad, huh?]. She wen ton and hid the scissors demanding that I sit down and give her five legal and convincing reasons of why I wanted to chop off the hair that she drooled on when flat-ironing it and applying relaxer on.

"My Dear, hauko serious!"[My Dear, you aren't serous!], Pam said with her saddened motherly tone.

I was heartbroken by her concern of how boyish I would look and maybe, how harder it would be to make friends, harder than it was originally. I had made up my mind. Not even her puppy eyes would change my mind. Well, they were tempting! Very tempting. So I sat down on the three-wheeled chair, a towel lightly thrown on my shoulders, and it was show time. She sterilized her hair scissors and did it slowly. I had time to change my mind. She then put her chubby soft heavy hand on top of my head and asked again,

"Uko sure kabisa? You know if I was you singewahi fikiria kukata nywele mzuri kama hii?"

Are you completely certain? You know if I was you I would have never thought of cutting nice hair like this?

"Twende! Tukikaa hivi nitachange mind!" Let's do it! If we delay, I just might change my mind. I sombrely said. I have never had such an affirmative voice in scare in my life. I liked it. She started cutting the hair from the back, "Just in case uchange mind. Bob si mbaya." Just in case you change your mind. A Bob cut is not bad, she said- to more or less calm herself. I saw the first bunch fall off. Now that was difficult. I thought I was going through late adolescence crisis. "Why am I doing this?" "What will Mum think?" "Do you know how much money you've spent on your relaxed hair for the last 4 years?". Questions flocked my head.

As Pam continued cutting off my hair, I was slowly calming down. I then realized that the hair on ladies heads you see everyday is a big deal. Molded in an emotional string of emotion. At least myself. As the amount of hair increased on the floor, I then saw a flash of things that held me back fall of my shoulders. My head became lighter. Literally. I felt the insecurities that were dragging me down then fall off. It was a relief. As Pam evened out the hair, I felt a rush of two specific emotions: Relief and Scare. The second was something I was to work around. I was scared of my then potential comfortability with my inner beauty.

That day, I turned a new page. Experienced a new me. A new emotion: confidence. It was the best decision I made in 2011.

Yes, gentlemen. Hair is a big deal for ladies. Now you see why women pay that little attention on those strands on their heads. A big deal, alright.

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I would love to read and share your BC stories. You could send them to me on sirinusu@gmail.com and we could inspire and encourage each other - no matter how simple or complex your story is.

Have a lovely time.

Siri Nusu.

Who is Siri Nusu©?

Siri Nusu are two Swahili words that mean Half a Secret in English. My real name is Wacherah. Pronounced 'Wa-she-ra'. I am Kenyan. As I type this, I am 19 years old. I am a university student majoring in Economics & finishing my Freshman year in two weeks now. Woot-Woot!  So much about myself ت

This blog is dedicated to Natural Hair. Yes. I have 'a lot of love and appreciation for natural kinky, nappy and curly African hair. From Fros to locs, I love them all. I recently did my BC and since then, my natural hair fad has magnified. This blog will not only feature my hair journey and tips but everyone else's who would love to share their story. 

Half of my Secret is that I have a natural hair fad. I would love to know and share the other half with my readers and contributors. What's Half your Secret?

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RIP DANIEL